Guess who's coming back!!!Guess who's coming back!!!

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Today’s mental workout for Imagination Wednesdays eavesdrop on a vital conversation for mankind, a father-son pep talk you could call it, between none other than the Almighty himself and the only son that he claims, the great Jesus. It seems we have come at a most opportune moment, they are planning the savior’s long anticipated return, Jesus is not so enthusiastic, who can blame him after the last reception. But anyway this comeback is shaping up to be the greatest in human history, even greater than Apple from near bankruptcy to world domination. Before the triumphant return, many factors need to be addressed.

God: I can’t figure you out kid, you’ve done nothing for 2,000 years, this is another chance for you to save humanity again.

Jesus: Easy for you to say, you weren’t stuck on a cross for 3 days. I know how this script works, I do all the suffering, you get all the glory! What difference will it make anyway? Humans will just go about their business doing what they do best, treating each other like crap and killing each other over absolutely anything. Sometimes I wish you had another son!

God: I tell ya, good help is hard to find nowadays, Abraham would have done anything I asked him without any lip. It’s back to Earth for you, Jesus, I decree it. Don't make me upset, I'm liable to send a plague or a flood. Geez, you would think I am sending you back as some poor African baby or something.

Jesus: There’s an idea, maybe Madonna can adopt me.

God : Hey, you leave the virgin Mary out of this.

Jesus: No not her, you know the other virgin, Madonna, the pop singer. It’s quite the fashion these days to adopt a poor African baby, all the big celebs do it, Brad and Angelina, Nicole Kidman, Sharon Stone, it gets you into the A-list parties.

God: Wow!, these humans are really getting out of hand, they still think money buys happiness. You got your work cut out for you kid, what part of the world do you wish to reappear this time.

Jesus: Please not Nazareth again, there’s absolutely nothing to do out there. I want some place with nice weather, good food and the people have fun.

God: Ok, that rules out Russia, Scandinavia, UK, the Middle East and probably most of the world. Heck, I am starting to doubt if I created this planet.

Jesus: If I can survive the Romans, I can deal with anything. I mean they used to feed Christians to the Lions, that was only for appetizers.

God: You didn’t exactly survive last I checked, you think the Romans were bad, wait till you meet the Republicans! Maybe you can be Asian or Filipino, you know they have wonderful genes, they are ageless.

Jesus: I don’t think age will be my problem, they’ll soon have me hanging from another cross in no time, I may be back by dinner time.

God: I think the capital of the world is United States, you best go there, if you went somewhere remote like Fiji, nobody would know you even came back. Yes, United States is best, it will be hard to find a virgin though. We will have to skip that whole immaculate conception thing. We could pull a Moses and leave you floating on water.

Jesus: Well just get me some better birthday gifts this time. I mean why does a baby need 3 wise men with Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh. Please make sure I end up in a nice middle class family, you know the poor are so unhappy because they wanna be rich, and the rich are unhappy because they always want more.

God: Ok, more importantly, what job do you wanna do this time around. Let’s face it, you were a 3rd rate carpenter. Nobody had ever heard of you, couldn’t even find you in the Nazareth yellow pages. You never did any great works of art like Leonardo or Michelangelo, now those were some real creators.

Jesus: Yes, but I inspired their material!

God: yes, you sure have inspired a great deal, unfortunately many people have used your name to deceive others. You best be a real preacher and try and get your good name back. You better do some homework, you got your work cut out for you. How are you going to set yourself apart from all the different religions and denominations out there, not to mention all the preachers. There are preachers on every corner, heck there may be more preachers than people to save.

Jesus: No worries, Dad, the people know the original when they see it.

God: Good luck with that kid, the people only understand money, and plenty of it too, you better get yourself a good agent and book your own reality tv show. Give the people what they want, entertainment. Better tell some great stories too. The people always love a fantastic story. The truth is too much for them to handle, give them a miraculous world to live in and they still dream of a better one elsewhere. And while you are it, drop in on the Vatican, they haven’t paid their dues in years.

Jesus: Wish me luck

God: Good luck, you are gonna need it, one more thing make sure you choose some minority disciples and a couple of women too, the ACLU have been on my back, apparently the world needs more diversity and equality these days.

Jesus: The more things change the more they stay the same.

God: I am just fooling with you kid, time to wake up, you’ve got some real imagination, the son of God! Indeed! you’ve been drinking too much of that water into wine.