Judgment day!!!Judgment day!!!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Today’s mental workout for Imagination Wednesdays goes where few dare to go. Judgment day is finally upon us, no not for humans, but for the almighty himself. It appears the universal court in the big sky has brought God up on charges for abandonment and gross negligence of human beings. Even the Almighty has to answer to some other entity. God has elected to represent himself, we certainly can’t blame him giving the expense of good legal help nowadays. Wonder what his defense will be, this should be interesting!

Court: How does the defendant plead?

God: Not guilty by reason of insanity?

Court: Insanity, are you really going there?

God: Well, let’s just say the experiment of human beings hasn’t quite worked out as expected. Most of them are very unhappy and desire much more than they have. Some are hungry and others depend on so many just to survive. Some just want to deceive or be violent and do whatever evil they can get their hands on. Forget 10 commandments, you need a million of them.

Court: Did you create human beings to be your pet slaves and worship you every day.

God: Not every day, once a week seemed a good idea at the time.

Court: Why do you not answer their prayers, in fact it seems like you have abandoned them all together.

God: Hey, give me a break, it was my first time creating human beings. Nobody gets it perfect the first time, you should see my next invention, it’s really going to blow you away.

Court: Please let’s stay on topic here, back to why you created human beings in the first place, only to abandon them. You certainly don’t seem to have any influence over them, most of them hate their lives and some are just stark raving lunatics. If they were created in your image, why can’t they behave rationally by loving and helping each other.

God: Exactly, I created them in my image and I’m crazy, so you know what they say, like father like son. Come on you lot, get a sense of humor! I gave humans power of imagination, what do you want from me. Must I do everything for them. Isn’t it enough that I created a magnificent infinite universe.

Court: With all due respect, that’s still up for debate. There’s no empirical evidence that you had anything to do with the universe and judging by your utter incompetence with human beings, I would say it’s highly unlikely. Look at human beings, most of them are miserable. They do all kinds of unspeakable things in your name. They have invented all kinds of weapons to do irreparable harm to each other all under your watch. Most never get to discover what life really means to them, they just join an assembly line and work till they drop dead. Human beings are gross under-achievers amidst all the chaos. You, sir are a complete amateur. Almighty creator indeed, you are incompetent, you should be a politician.

God: Oh, we are resorting to ad hominem attacks now.

Court: Don’t be so sensitive, what are you going to do, take it out on human beings. Demand another sacrifice, send down a plague or flood!

God: Oh no, that’s so Old Testament! All I do is unleash the Republican party! It’s kind of good being the Almighty in charge of everything, even when I do a horrible job as is evident with humans, they can’t vote me out of office. I always win! They praise me when things go great, very seldom these days, and when bad stuff happens, it’s just “God’s will.” To be honest, I didn’t think human beings would last this long. With all the battles and wars that have been happening since beginning of time, I had expected them to blow each other to kingdom come by now.

Court: Did you also send your son Jesus to save human beings, apparently his results have not been better. It didn't take long for them to send him packing. I wander where he got his genes from!

God: Yes, poor JC, he’s been traumatized by the whole thing. He bears the cross for the whole of mankind. Poor thing, I can’t get him out of the house anymore. Doesn’t talk much or do anything, just watches Reality TV all day.

Court: Speaking of Reality TV, how could you be so callous and allow humans to venture down that path. Isn't it bad enough that humans suffer through their own lives, must they watch other train wrecks too. Next you and Jesus will have your own reality show.

God: We already do, it’s called Earth. Anything goes! You couldn't write a script for what humans do, not in a billion years.

Court: You seem amused by what you created, there are humans suffering everywhere, rich and poor alike.

God: Hey, I didn’t ask for this job of God. I was minding my own business and all of a sudden one day somebody invented me. There used to be a lot of Gods running around in the Greek and Roman days, then suddenly I became the man. They said you created everything so I just ran with it. Who wouldn’t want all that power? They said that I was the beginning and end of everything.

Court: Btw, you look great for your age, all things considered, what do you do to stay in shape?

God: Plastic surgery, oh they do amazing things nowadays.

Court: Back to the matter at hand. Do you in fact exist, or are you just like Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and WWE.

God: I can’t speak for the others, but are you telling me wrestling is not real either.

Court: Geez, you didn’t know, you are really slow on the uptake!

God: Just because I’m God, doesn’t mean I know everything. And with all the prayers every day from billions of people, in thousands of languages, it’s a lot of work trying to keep up. It’s God this and God that, please give me this and blah blah blah. Always wanting me to do things for them never once wondering about my issues. I’m under a great deal of stress, I have even lost my medical insurance. Even God has his own problems to deal with. Humans will always need to idolize someone or something. If not me, it would be great celebrities or whatever else they can worship. It’s their thing! Human beings are their own worst enemies, they create most of their own suffering. At least I am a good role model for the most part.

Court: Seems like you are the best magician of all time, it’s probably not even you standing in front of us today, just some kind of illusion.

God: Well you said it. Understanding the universe is really quite simple. There’s no script, no rhyme or reason, just apply your mind and heart to what you desire and keep going till you succeed, it’s not rocket science, well a little quantum physics perhaps. But sometimes even the most complex things are simple, the absolute mystery of existence. It's all energy. Thoughts will produce certain feelings. Those feelings will produce emotional energy. That energy will drive the desired action. Humans have the power to convince themselves about anything, good or bad. Also I have a rather big confession to make.

Court: We already know, you are insane right?

God: More than that, I am also blind. I can’t see a thing.

Court: So society is really the blind leading the blind. You are probably deaf too, you never answer all the billions of prayers.

God: I didn’t actually create everything about human beings. I am not completely responsible for the way things turned out for mankind. You all know good reliable labor has always been hard to come by. I outsourced the work, I had to employ illegal aliens. Come on, I was under pressure, only had 7 days to do everything. I apologize for human beings and the universe being incomplete, in fact, it’s only a work in progress. I also ran out of funds to complete the job. Maybe when the economy gets better, we can finish it. To be honest with you, I’ve lost interest in human beings, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing and it clearly shows.

Court: You’ve left us utterly confused about what to make of you, just like the universe and human beings. You are so eccentric.

God: Human beings always want special treatment. They simple refuse to accept that they are just like all the other billions of creatures on Earth. They see what they want to see. They believe what they want to believe. If you want to think you are Earth's special creatures, believe what you want to. Human beings used their brains to conquer the Earth, but only a few do most of the thinking for everybody else. They are the ones that impose all the rules on each other. Governments, Corporations, Religions, families, it’s all been the same since the dawn of time, hierarchy of fear, control and power. Human beings behave exactly the same way generation after generation. From the random chaos of universal existence, it is what it is.

God: If you don’t have any further questions, I would like to leave. I’m being honored at a Republican convention and I don’t want to be late.

With that God forgave everybody and everything and did a disappearing act into the dark night from where he came from. He seems very good at doing that. Nevertheless, it’s tricky where this verdict is headed. No worries, it seems God has plenty of grounds for appeal to the supreme court of the heavens.