Knockin' on Heaven's door!!!Knockin' on Heaven's door!!!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Today’s mental workout for imagination Wednesdays is going to premiere a critically acclaimed play, not that we care what critics would think, who are they anyway, did they go to some special school and say “oh I want to be a critic when I grow up," but I digress, back to the play, here’s the opening scene. It is set in a wonderful place called heaven, if you are not sure where it is, no worries, you are certainly not alone. We are following the journey of an Earthly soul into heaven.

Earthling: Knock knock

Gate keeper: What do you want

Earthling: Please tell me, did I make it to heaven, I’m just dying to find out, hahaha!

Gate keeper: Very funny Earthling, we do the jokes around here, amateur night is Wednesdays.

Earthling: Please tell me, did I really make it, is this heaven, I did the best I could, I went to church every Sunday, was faithful to my wife, well at least for the most part. Hopefully you all didn’t catch me, you all must have billions of people to keep an eye on, it was only once, honest.

God: Who is that making all that noise, I am trying to watch a little telly here as soon as I can find the remote for Christ’s sake. Oh sorry Jesus, didn’t mean it.

Gate Keeper: Sorry me Lord, just another Earthling, wondering if he made it to heaven, {laugh laugh}

God: For Pete’s sake, oh sorry St. Peter, didn’t mean it. Ok, send him in. Here we go again!

Earthling: Oh I can’t believe I really made it, this has to be Heaven, wow all those deeds I did really paid off, I must have gotten away with treating people like crap and only caring for myself and family, but wow, I still made it. Thank God, oops, I guess I can now, in person, jolly!

God: I’m afraid I have some shocking news for you, this ain’t heaven, my friend, you just came from there, Planet Earth is Heaven stupid! You have a heart that can move mountains if you have enough desire and courage, not to mention a super brain with billions of neurons, what more could you ask for. You live on a beautiful planet with so much to discover, yet so many of you Earthlings find unhappiness. What makes you think any God would want your company in Heaven anyhow, the way you humans treat each other. Some of you treat your own pets better than other humans. Heaven and a hell, come on, some of you are already in Hell and don’t even know it.

Earthling: But it can’t be, they told me about heaven and hell, all those wonderful Bible stories.

God: I got news for you my friend, human beings have a track record of lying, cheating and deceiving each other ever since the first caveman tried to seduce the others’ wife. Do you really believe I would create human beings to live in constant fear of me their whole life, have to pray to me every day and worship me every Sunday. What do you think I am, the Republican Party. You think my ego is that big I would forbid you to worship other Gods and demand sacrifices, come on, think for yourself, that’s what life is all about. Use your imagination to discover life for yourself on your own terms. Do what excites your blood. That’s living. Use your instincts,open your eyes, do confessional booths make any sense whatsoever. Come on,read between the lines. Any rules you know were made up by other humans.

Earthling: But what’s all this, you,Jesus, St.Peter,these beautiful, heavenly gates.

God: You’re not really dead, it’s just a dream kid. Your mind works with whatever information you plug into it, or more like what you allow others to put into your head. It would be nice to think an almighty creator did all this, but to be honest, you humans are just grains of sand in a universe that stretches for eternity. With billions of organisms discovered and more undiscovered, the universe sees you all the same, just because you humans get opposable thumbs and learn to talk, everything becomes all about you. The universe belongs to the strongest and the fittest,but,you Earthlings became the smartest and became Lords over all other creatures, and that wasn’t enough, you needed to become Lords over each other too. The biggest problem is that the super rich among you, all those bankers and Wall St. Barons who make money out of nothing use too much brain and not enough heart, and all the religious people out there use too much heart and not enough brain. The secret to your universe is connecting the two. Human achievement is infinite. The universe is about energy, courage and intelligence, have faith in that.

Earthling: Thanks God, it all makes sense to me now. You are truly the master of everything.

God: Oh stop groveling Earthling, and develop your own opinions, Don't take my word for it, it’s just my theory, that’s all. Discover the meaning of life for yourself, and while you are it, tell that fella from the mental workout,stop picking on me. Who would have thought a few ancient scrolls would have fooled mankind for centuries. Tell people instead of praying to me all the time, to get off their behinds and figure out life for themselves, who would want to listen to billions of people praying all the time, if they must worship me, buy me some Facebook stock, now there’s a real genius opportunist, get super rich off people sharing photos of each other. Haha, whatever will you humans think of next!